once upon a time, i was in an honors english class as a sophomore in high school, and we covered the great gatsby
and once a day, every day, one young man would say, in the exact same inquisitive tone of wonder,
"wait a minute! is nick gay for gatsby?"
until finally, one day, our teacher shouted, “YES NICK IS GAY FOR GATSBY BUT I CAN’T TEACH YOU THAT BECAUSE THIS IS A CATHOLIC SCHOOL.”
Osric Chau, Ladies and gentlemen.
don’t make me snap my fingers in a z formation
*snaps fingers in a pentagram formation*
*says a Latin incantation*
*sacrifices a virgin to the dark lord Satan*
I keep forgetting he’s not human.
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now
I will seriously do it for everyone js
A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”
best so far.
"Too many books?" I believe the phrase you’re looking for is "not enough bookshelves".